Feeling Insecure by Co-workers ! Are Your Life Whole ?

Palitha was employed at Stock & You a startup company, as a manager. He was spending long hours developing a cutting edge application enabling people to trade stocks easily. He was very happy with the work and contribution making towards the company goals. 

One fine day, his boss informed a new junior manager called Priyanka will be introduced to the team and part of his responsibilities will handed over to that person so that company will be able meet its increase demand. 

Palitha felt uncomfortable by Priyanka and her role in the company. He was upset and did not help Priyanka with necessary knowledge transfer and had  advised his team members to not to provide additional information requested by her. Priyanka, felt that team was not cooperating with her and tried to leave Stock & You. Priyanka had informed this reason for her resignation to the higher management.

Palith's boss was very unhappy with this news, but asked Priynaka to stay and severely warned Palitha about his behavior. This made Palitha very unhappy, remembering the sacrifices he had done towards the success of the company and became less helpful towards the team. Finally company management asked him to resign from his job, after failing several attempts by his boss to correct Palitha's attitudes and behavior.

After his resignation, Palitha was at home sulking without hope. Office work that occupied him most of the days and weeks are no more. He had nothing to do. He tried to help his wife with house work and kids with there school work. But they were not enough to fill his day. 

He seems to have loss his purpose for existence and was desperately searching for a new job. Palitha is an one example of a person who has build his existence around his job or has created a career/work centric life.

Majority of us build our life around only to one area. Some people build their life around their children and unconsciously manipulate children to stay with them till they die. Some parents go to the extent of disrupting children's relationship with friends and partners. These people has define their existence on their children and afraid of loosing their purpose. 

There are another set of people cling to their spouses and always suspect they will leave them for a another person. 

Susan Jeffers [1] in her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway [2] says this behavior of sabotaging self and others happens when a person define the purpose of his/her existence to a single area and cling to it, creating extreme sense of neediness. People who interact with this person in his/her significant defining area become victims and go through very unpleasant events and abuses. She advises to explore other areas in ones life where one can contribute and start investing time in them to come out this extreme sense of neediness. She suggest of creating a whole life grid for oneself, thereby removing the fear of loss in one area.

 Following set of instructions are given by Susan to discover areas where you can invest to create your own whole life grid.

1. Book yourself some quiet time to identify areas you need to fill in the grid. You may use some calm or meditative music during this discovery phase to relax yourself.
   
2. Pick one area you identified and shut your eyes and visualize how would this area look like if you become 100% committed towards it. Guide your Visualization on following questions
• What you will be doing ?
  
• Who will be around you ?
  
• What would it feel like ?
  
3. When you have a clear picture write down or draw what the mind created for you with attentions to all details.
4. List the thing that needed to be done in order to make this visualization become a reality. You may take several days come up with the task list.
5. Do steps 2,3,4 for every area in the grid
   
6. After completing the grid, schedule daily or weekly time slots to do tasks identified in step 4 for each areas in the grid. 

When you keep on doing the tasks in each area regularly, it will support your growth and satisfaction. Setbacks or losses in any areas may happen any time and that is natural. But you will be supplemented and strengthen by the progresses made in other areas, thereby making you strong to face any loss.

References

[1] - http://www.susanjeffers.com/home/bio.cfm
[2] - https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Fear-Anyway-Indecision-Confidence/dp/B011T7KWO6/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=feel+the+fear+and+do+it+anyway+susan+jeffers&qid=1638860383&sr=8-2